Humorous Halloween Horrors
by Night-Waker
Summary: A (late) response to E350's annual challenge. 4 Chapters. 4 One-Shots involving love, loss, deception, war, ponies and a particularly sugary piece of chocolate.
1. Moon

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING I SAY!**

"Hungrily she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes and all is clear, Equestria is safe another year," Zecora said as she stood in front of the stone statue of Nightmare Moon, telling the same story she told all the Fillies of Ponyville every year on this night.

Like every year the fillies sat in the grass, all of them in various sorts of costumes, and listened closely as the zebra in front of them carried on. This year however, a new trio sat among them, one of them quickly scribbling everything down in a small notebook.

"Oh man," Dib breathed out excitedly as he finished writing the last sentence, "This is incredible!"

Despite having only been in Ponyville for such a short time, Dib was more than convinced that there had to be something worth looking into to show the Swollen Eyeball. So, he had decided to write anything he heard that might be helpful. While part of him figured the legend of Nightmare Moon was just some old wives tale, he reasoned it didn't hurt to remember this.

"Now listen up my little friends, for Nightmare Moon you must not offend," Zecora continued, reaching the end of the story as she gestured to a small pile of various candies in front of the statue, "Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won't return to come eat you!"

At that point the foals let out screams, though they sounded more excited than frightened. One by one, they all deposited some of their candy to the pile before running to return to their trick-or-treating. Soon the only ones left were Dib and the other two of the trio; a yellow sponge and his pink sea star friend, the both of whom were pretty shaken up by the story. Deciding now was a better time than ever to do some paranormal investigating, Dib looked over his equipment one last time as SpongeBob and Patrick ran over to the statue and dumped every piece of candy they had into the pile.

"Think we're safe now?" Patrick asked as he looked around fearfully for the evil mare.

"I hope so," SpongeBob replied. His eyes widened when he saw Dib heading off deeper into the forest alone. Looking at each other for a few seconds, the pair made an unspoken agreement to run and follow after him. If anything to keep Dib from getting eaten by Nightmare Moon.

* * *

"So, you've never been trick-or-treating before?"

"Nope."

"Like never ever _ever._"

"Not once."

"Never ever ever ever as in never once in your whole life?!"

"Never _ever._"

Pinkie Pie stared at the Star Nomad next to her in shock with her jaw dropped. How could anyone not have ever experienced the joys of Nightmare Night, or trick-or-treating at least?

"Yep. I've been to a lotta planets, but I've never been to one that does anythin' like this," Wander continued as he looked at a small group of foals run by. Having traveled the galaxy for such a long time, he had the opportunity to see many traditions from many cultures. He found each one more fascinating and fun than the last, but a holiday where you can get free candy? That took the cake!

Shrugging before smiling, he said, "But hey, first time for everythin' ah guess."

Pinkie put her hoof to her chin in thought before grinning, "Well, if you wanna learn about Nightmare Night, then you've come to the right place! I'm Ponyville's number one candy expert!"

The pink Pony began to nudge Wander down the street.

"C'mon! You're gonna love it!"

* * *

"D-Do you think she'll find us?"

"But we gave her our candy! Isn't that supposed to keep her away?"

"What if that wasn't enough Patrick?"

Dib gave an irritated sigh and looked away from his video camera to the pair trailing behind him. They had been out in the Everfree Forest for about ten minutes and SpongeBob and Patrick's constant whimpering was beginning to get on the young paranormal investigator's nerves, "If you guys are so scared, then why are you even out here?"

"We have to make sure Nightmare Moon doesn't eat you," SpongeBob said.

Patrick nodded in agreement, "Yeah. You didn't give her any candy."

_Candy..._

Dib's expression lit up as he got a sudden idea, "Hey, do you two still have some of your candy?" Patrick shook his head,

"No. We left it back at the statue."

"Darn. That would have been good bait, but I guess that shouldn't matter. After all, all I need is just a clear picture of her to show the Swollen Eyeball. Hey, maybe I can even convince her to eat Zim and put a stop to him once and for all! That'd be neat."

As Dib continued on, not even paying attention to the two sea creatures anymore, Patrick turned to SpongeBob with an expression of confusion, "Why is he talking to himself?"

SpongeBob shrugged, "I dunno, but it's kind of weird."

At that moment, a rustling was heard from a nearby bush. Looking over, the trio saw the silhouette of a flowing maned Alicorn that seemed to beckon to them deeper into the forest.

"I have you now," Dib murmured with a determined look before charging after the mare, SpongeBob and Patrick in tow.

* * *

"Wow! Look at all this," Wander exclaimed as he looked at all the candy Pinkie and him had received throughout the night. Both of their bags were filled to the brim with an assortment of treats and the orange alien was acting like a young child on Christmas Day as he looked over all the sweets, "Ah don't think I've ever seen so much candy before!"

Pinkie giggled at his enthusiasm.

"The fun part is trying them and seeing what they taste like." Pinkie reached into her bag and offered a large chocolate bar, "Here!"

"...Well, it does look good," Wander began hesitantly. It really did look tasty and by now he was a little hungry, the problem was when he had anything sugary...

"But ah'm not sure-"

"Aw, c'mon," Pinkie persisted, "No point in trick-or-treating if you're not gonna eat any of it."

She _did _have a good point, and Wander was never a fan of letting good things go to waste. Maybe he'd have just one and that'd be it. What's the worst that could happen?

_Ten Minutes Later_

Sylvia exited the bathroom of Sugarcube Corner. She had reached her five months and had to do her business. Usually since it took a while to go she would have to worry about Wander getting captured, but this planet was a lot more peaceful compared to other planets she and her companion had been to.

Barely even taking a step toward the exit, the Zbornak quickly realized something was wrong. Well, unless one considered Wander running around like a maniac eating every single piece of candy he could get his hands on, while scaring the townponies, and babbling complete nonsense to be perfectly normal.

"Whoa, Wander!" Sylvia called out as she tried to get ahold of the sudden situation.

The hyperactive nomad looked over at her before grinning widely and speaking in an extremely fast voice, "HeySyltheirstuffisAMAAAAZIN'!Youshouldtryit!Looka tmegoooo!Whee!I'mnaked,lookout!WOOO! Ha ha!"

Wander then bounded off toward the forest. A few seconds later a frantic looking pink Pony, Sylvia recognized her as the one Wander had spent most of the night with, ran by.

"Wait up!" Sylvia shouted as she caught up with Pinkie, "What's happening?" "I don't know!" Pinkie exclaimed as the two kept running, "All I did was give him a piece of candy and BOOM! He's goin' nuts!"

Sylvia froze.

"You gave Wander _sugar_?!"

"Uh, yeah," Pinkie replied.

Okay, so _maybe_ going to a planet on a holiday where the inhabitants get free candy wasn't the best idea ever.

"Oh Grop," Slyvia groaned, running a hand down her face, "Well, the best thing to do is wait him out and make sure he dosen't hurt himself."

* * *

Crashing through the bushes, Dib kept the camera locked on the mysterious figure. SpongeBob and Patrick still followed, carrying thin and not-so-sharp sticks for protection. Suddenly the figure stopped in a clearing. The moon was full, large, and cast a perfect silhouette of the mare.

Dib grinned.

"Any last words, Nightmare Moon?" he asked, trying to sound dramatic.

At the sight of her, SpongeBob and Patrick's faces turned ten shades paler before they dropped their sticks and ran in the opposite direction screaming bloody murder. Dib ignored this and continued shooting. Nightmare Moon raised her wings over her head, seeming ready to strike when-

"LOOOOOOOK OUT!"

_Crash!_

"Sorry!" Wander yelled, as he ran off after crashing into Dib which sent him flying into Nightmare Moon, still in the middle of a sugar rush that was clearly not ending anytime soon. Dib groaned as he got up and, looking down, realized his camera had broken.

"Oh great," he muttered, "There's fifty dollars I'm never getting back."

Nightmare Moon got up, however now that Dib was so close he noticed something odd about her skin.

It looked like it was made of... fabric? Wait a second...

Rainbow Dash spit out the plastic fangs and gave an annoyed sigh.

"Oh _great,_" she huffed, "I get the perfect Nightmare Night prank all together only to have it ruined by Pinkie's alien friend!"

"A... prank?," Dib questioned. He then facepalmed, "You mean I just wasted half the night and got my best camera destroyed for _nothing?"_

"Pretty much. Hey, what happened to the other two?"

"Hm? Oh them. I think you scared them off. Oh well, they weren't much help anyway... yeah... I'm going to bed..." the Earth boy mumbled before turning around and leaving, wanting to put tonight behind him.

He turned back though, "Think that might've been going a little too far?"

Dash shrugged, "They'll get over it."

* * *

"Wander!" Sylvia and Pinkie called out as they looked around for their lost companion. They'd been following him for a while trying to keep him away from as much candy as possible (Without much success) but eventually lost him once he ran off to the Everfree Forest.

"So... think he'll be fine?" Pinkie asked in concern. Before she could get an answer they reached the Nightmare Moon statue saw, lying in a pile of candy wrappers while curled up in his hat, was who else but Wander sleeping soundly after his sugar rush had finally worn off.

"I'd say so," Sylvia said quietly as to not wake Wander, relived to see that her best friend was alright. He still stirred anyway, blinking his eyes open and gave the duo a sleepy smile mixed with a grimace.

"Hey guys," he began as he sat up, clutching his stomach, "Word of advice, _never_ eat as much candy as you can as fast as you can. It won't leave ya feelin' good later on."

"Alright buddy," Sylvia said, as the smaller alien on her back so they could head back to town "I think you've had more than enough excitment tonight."

It was only a minute into their walk back when Wander felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and saw it was Pinkie.

"I'm really sorry for making you eat that chocolate bar when you didn't want to," she said apologitically, "It wasn't right of me."

Wander just smiled and waved his hand dismissively, "Aw, that's alright." He put a reassuring arm around her, "Ah prob'ly should've told ya 'bout what would happen when ah had the chance."

Pinkie lit up as she leaned into Wander's touch, "You know, I have some sugar-free cupcake recipes I've been meaning to try. Wanna come over tomorrow and be my taste-tester?"

Wander looked up at the moon in the starry night sky, that smile of his never leaving even for a millisecond, "I'd love to."

* * *

_The Next Morning_

Twilight Sparkle sighed as she turned to give Rainbow Dash, and the paranormal investigator next to her, an annoyed glare.

"Mind explaining?" she asked, pointing a hoof in the direction of the two Toons in the back of the library.

SpongeBob and Patrick had been there all night, terrified that Nightmare Moon was coming to gobble them up. They had even went as far as to build a small fort out of Twilight's books to keep themselves safe, which they were currently cowering behind.

"T-Think we're safe yet?" SpongeBob asked.

"I dunno, but I'm not risking it!" Patrick replied.

Dash chuckled and rubbed the back of her head, "Uh, ha ha yeah... I'll take care of it."

As she entered, she heard Dib mumble to her with a hint of sarcasm, "Still think you didn't overdo it?"_  
_

* * *

**A/N:** _Yeah... the prompt word was "Moon" and Nightmare Night was inspired by Nightmare_ _**MOON** so... anyway,__ a few things going on here. First, the whole "Dib chasing Nightmare Moon"__ thing. Dib hasn't really been in Equestria long enough to know about Luna changing back and all that so he doesn't know NMM isn't really there anymore._

_As for that whole thing with Wander... ehhhh that was just me and a headcanon that when he has anything with sugar in it he goes on a sugar rush unlike any other and... yeah... :/_

_A__nyway, this wasn't my best work. I kinda had to rush since it was taking me a while to finish this but overall I'm satisfied with it, especially since this is my first time writing for Wander, Sylvia, Rainbow and Pinkie. O_O _

___'Til then! :)_

___(And yes, I hinted at Wander/Pinkie Pie toward the end. It totally wasn't because that's my crossover OTP I've been dying to write for and this was the perfect chance to or anything like that... *Darts eyes back and forth*)_


	2. Cold

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING I SAY!**

* * *

******A/N:** _If you're expecting more laughs... w__ell, all I can say is you're about to read the 'Horrors' part of the fic..._

**Review******** Replies:**

**DarkX:** _LOL! It did get pretty crazy. XD Let's just hope when Wander has those cupcakes Pinkamena dosen't make an appearence. Thanks for reviewing!_

**E35O: **_Glad to know you like it so far. :) Thanks for reviewing!_

**TweenisodeOrange:** _Weren't they? XD I don't really have any crossovers this chapter, but I will in the next one. Thanks for reviewing!_

* * *

_W__alking walking walking..._

That's all he really did now was walk. Sure, he also explored the rest of the island; or rather did. Not long after his arrival here he had seen every possible nook and cranny this place had to offer. So now besides walking, he would often slook out at the line far off in the distance where the deep blue of the ocean and the azure blue of the sky met as he tried to see if there was anyway he could reach the larger island located not too away.

It was too far to swim to however, and there was nothing he could use to build a boat with. Did the people on that other island know he was there? Were there even people there? For all he knew, he could be the only person in the world.

It's so cold.

He felt a shiver creep up on him as he continued on. The cold was the first thing he registered, before he even opened his eyes, when he first woke up here. He didn't understand how a place so tropical, with its yellow sandy beach and lush exotic plants, could be so freezing. He probably never would. At least there was no wind to make it worse. Now that he thought about it... there didn't seem to be any weather at all here except a bright sunny day with a clear sky. Odd.

_Walking walking walking..._

Returning to his thoughts, he began to try (yet again) to remember his origins. Besides waking up on the beach, he couldn't really remember anything. No home, family, friends, past. The only thing he could remember was a single word, a word he assumed was supposed to be his name: Sora. He guessed that maybe he came from the larger island, but then again wouldn't his family have come from him by now. Did he even have family? Friends? He wasn't sure.

This cold was unbearable, he should really try building a fire. If it's this bad now, imagine what'd it'd be when night fell. What time was it anyway? Looking at the sky to tell the time, Sora noticed the sun hadn't moved at all since last time he checked, or since he woke up here; it still looked to be about noon. Sometimes it felt like he had only been there for an hour, other times it felt like months and years had passed.

Sora suddenly got an idea. There was one place where it felt warmer. Heading up the beach and past a lonely shack he arrived at a tall waterfall. But this wasn't it, oh no. It was the small cave behind the waterfall he was headed. It was a damp place, with moss hanging from the ceiling and crawling up the walls. Sora tilted his head downward slighty, looking at the small chalk drawings. Among them were a castle that looked sometime out of a fairytale, a dog and duck walking like a person, and a star. When he reached out and touched them, images of different people and things (some of them looking like what the drawings were) came to life in his mind.

One girl on particular stood out, one with bright blue eyes and short redish-brown hair, whom he felt particulary close to, as if he knew her. Perhaps in a past life? While the people in the images seemed happy and were smiling, he heard a distance, faint noise that sounded like sobbing. Despite that, these people made him feel a lot less lonely and almost... happy.

For a moment, it even felt less cold.

Alas, nothing can last forever and eventually the pictures and the heat they provided faded away, leaving nothing but the cold in its place. Sora had a feeling those visions held the key to leaving this place, but until he knew for sure there wasn't much he could do. So instead he turned around, left the cave and its mysteries behind until his next visit, and returned to the beach. The sun still hadn't moved, indicating no time had seemed to pass though Sora wasn't paying attention to that. He instead continued to do what he always seemed to do nowadays ever since his arrival here.

_Walking walking walking..._

* * *

**A/N: **_Didn't see that coming, did you? That was pretty short but as you can tell, horror isn't my best genre. Good news is we're going back to humor next chapter._

_Anyway, since I w__as very vague and some of you_ _are probably_ _confused: Sora is dead_ _and his spirit is in_ _Destiny Islands,_ _or_ _rather_ _purgatory that happens to_ _look like_ _Destiny Islands_ _(I guess he was_ _too good for Hell to_ _take and_ _Heaven lost his_ _paperwork __:P) __He can't_ _remember_ _anything except his_ _name and the_ _closest he can_ _come to_ _interacting_ _with his_ _friends_ _and_ _remembering anything is by touching those_ _drawings_ _in the hidden_ _cave behind the_ _waterfall._ _That faint_ _crying he__ hears is __his friends,_ _who_ _are_ _still alive,_ _mourning him. That warm feeling has something to do with crossing over or something like that... I don't know._

_It's kind of sort of_ _scary when you_ _think about it. :/_

_And before you ask, I don't know__ how he died. Probably in an epic and totally awesome battle though._

_'Til then! :)____  
_


	3. Cave

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING I SAY!**

* * *

**Review Replies:**

**E35O:** _Good to know I did it well. Thanks for reviewing!_

**TweenisodeOrange: **_It does feel more angsty than scary when I reread it, so I agree. Poor Sora. :( Thanks for reviewing!_

**PogorikiFan1O: **_Sorry, I don't watch those shows. Though Lifty and Shifty will make cameos here. Thanks for reviewing! _

**A/N: **_Let's get right into it, shall we?_

* * *

**October**** 23, 2O77: **

_Well, it seems the war has officially begun. We're lucky this place was completed when it was, of course with a genius such as myself doing most of the work (Those lazy worthless excuse for workers!) could anyone really expect anything less? So far everything seems to be going accordingly. Although I have my doubts about the Overseer they've selected._

- Some random terminal

* * *

_Somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains_

"Welcome! If you're watching this, then that means the nuclear apocolypse is upon us. Not to worry though, here at Vault-Tec we've strived to make sure your stay in-"

At that point the voice in the video went from a creepily happy male announcer to a computerized sounding, "Vault 1OO,"

Back to the cheery voice, "will be as comfortable as possible until the surface is habitable again!"

As the video played on, the various Toons in the large room ranged from some paying attention intently, to Bart Simpson slinging popcorn at others, to Disney characters singing showtunes that can't be listed due to copyright laws.

Vault 1OO had taken about four years to build with an original budget of $5OO million dollars. The vault's location was inside a man-made cave created by miners centuries ago. Of course, in true cartoon fashion the construction didn't go quite... exactly as planned. For one thing, the budget wound up going $75O million overbudget, most of which consisted of building things such as a bowling ally, sports bar, an undergorund swimming pool, a beauty parlor, an insane asylum and a large convention hall (where the Toons were currently watching the video).

Just to name a few.

As a result, many issues involving money arose including hiring an Overseer with actual training. The fact they were able to finish the vault just a few weeks ago was a miracle. As the video finally ended after about 15 minutes who else but the Overseer came onstage to give general list of the rules and assign jobs for everyone. Normally the jobs would be choosen using a computer, but because of budget cuts they were now pulled randomly out of a hat. Or at least that's how it was supposed to go.

He was rather short, and wearing a disguise to make him look human. Of course all it did was hide his antennae and- oh forget the stupidly long description!

It's Zim, okay?

Yes, Zim. Many of the others were also surprised by this.

"Yes, yes. You're all impressed by my amazing Zimness," the Irken began, mistaking the crowd's confused silence with admiration, "First new law is: No _filthy _Dib human!"

At that a tube shot down from the ceiling and sucked up the paranormal investagator before he could do anything. Gaz, who had been standing next to, just made a grunt like noise and continued playing her GameSlave.

"Next, you shall worship Zim and his mightyness effective immediately!"

"Will that hurt?" Patrick Star asked.

After a few more pretty rediculious rules it was time to give everyone their jobs. Instead of pulling them out a hat, however, Zim just used Gir. The little robot bolted onstage and fired the small slips of paper at random Toons. They were shot with such force they caused a few people flew back into the wall when the slips hit them.

"Hold it!" Squidward cried out angrily, "Why in the name of Davy Jones' locker am I a fry cook?!"

"Yeah," Sweetie Belle agreed, who got the same job, "I don't even have my Cutie Mark yet, aren't I a little bit too young to have a job?"

Other Toons started to protest too, all having gotten horrible jobs as well. Zim narrowed his eyes at them.

"Would you rather take your chances up there?" He pointed upwards towards the surface. That shut everyone up quickly, except for one in the very back.

"How excatly did you become Overseer? I recall we all decided someone else for the position."

_Meanwhile_

_"This day was going to be perfect," _Princess Cadance, who was _supposed _to be Overseer, sang as she sat in the deepest, most inaccessible parts of the old mines that Zim had kidnapped her to.

_"The kind of day of which I dreamed since I was small,_

_but instead of-"_

A loud tapping from above, that sounded like a broom being banged on the floor, interrupted her sulking.

"Keep it down! Some of us are tryin' ta sleep!" a grumpy sounding old man yelled, "Lousy ponies... with their random singin'..."

"..."

_Back with everyone else _

Zim just stared at the Toon for a second before shouting, "**Away with you!**"

Insert what happened to Dib minutes before here.

* * *

"Sooo... what is this exactly?" Mickey asked, looking at the charred smoking mess.

"It's supposed to be a new salad recipe I'm trying out," Sweetie Belle replied. Back in the kitchen Squidward was puttiing out a kitchen fire (Yes, she started a fire making _salad_) caused by Sweetie's cooking.

"Enjoy!"

Not wanting to disapoint her, Mickey gave a small smile and took a bite out of it, "Yum!"

Sweetie beamed and headed off. The second she was gone, he spit it out and scraped the rest onto the food court table next to him belonging to Lifty and Shifty.

Oswald, who had been standing nearby, turned on his heel and promptly left.

"Oswald where're ya goin'?" the mouse asked.

"Back to Wasteland," the older rabbit replied bluntly, "I'd rather be forgotten forever than put up with this crap. You comin'?"

It didn't take long for Mickey to give an answer. After only about a week, Zim had thrown about twenty more Toons out of the Vault and no one could get the hang of their jobs. Like SpongeBob, whose job involved driving a vehicle to deliver supplies around, had sent 35 Toons to the infirmiry.

_Crash!_

"**_MY LEG!_**"_  
_

"Sorry!"

36.

Between here and a place like Wasteland, there was only one real choice.**_  
_**

"...Sure."

* * *

**A/N: **_Yep... I totally just parodied the "Fallout" games. I know it's inaccurate, but I did it on purpose._

_ **Fun fact: **Vault 1OO is actually a scrapped location from Fallout 3. Neat right. :P_

_This one was pretty fun to write (Though I really had to rush to finish this and practically cut the __chapter in half so it's probably not good), in fact I think I'll continue this. Not next chapter though (Next chapter is actually another horror one), so you all will just have to wait until next year._

___I already have more things planned like finding out what happens to Cadance, SpongeBob's job which involves driving, Timmy Turner making a wish (Which goes horribly wrong), and an entire sub-plot about the guy Zim kicked out (No, not Dib). Like I said I cut it in half, so you could say this chapter was simply setting things up. In other words, I ended it on a cliffhanger! Should be a fun year-long wait._

_'Til then! :)_

_(Extra credit to anyone who can guess who guy Zim kicked out is. Here's a hint: He's also the one who wrote what was in that terminal at the beginning. It'll be hard though since he's a very unknown character. I'd actually be surprised if someone figured it out.)_


End file.
